Mia Chatter

You Call Me Friend

2007-06-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

O, Light that lighteth every man,
O, Bread that feeds us all,
O, Holy One from the heart of the Father,
before you, I stand in awe.

The great I Am, the Eternal Word,
the Beginning, and the End . . .
How can you share your heart with me
and choose to call me your friend?

I come before you,

lay my dreams, my life

at your feet

not looking back,

eyes ever forward

only on you

at home in your love,

at home in your arms

because you choose to call me . . .

you called me your friend.

You who can do anything,
whose breath give life to all,
whose hand crafts the tiniest eyelash,
before you, I humbly fall.

O, King of Kings, O, El Shaddai
whose word makes all things new,
how can you share your heart with me
and choose to call me your friend?

I bow before you,

lay my dreams, my life

before your throne

not looking back,

eyes ever forward only on you,

at home in your love,

at home in your arms

because you choose to call me,

the King of the Universe calls me,

you call me your friend.

2007-05-17T09:35:00.000-05:00

no divided life,
no secular / sacred dilemma,
mindful that everything should honor Him,
should reveal His glory, His love

no divided heart,
no secret, unexposed places,
every corner washed by His grace,
filled with His Spirit

no divided mind,
no stubbornness, selfishness,
every ambition yielded to His plan,
content whatever

don't desire to be in the world's circus,
to precariously walk a tightrope . . .
May I fall off into your arms
unafraid to suffer and willing to die.

I (Jesus) do always those things that please Him.

John 8: 29

2007-05-16T13:13:00.000-05:00

Today, I walk with a slight limp
and can't see without my glasses.
My skin isn't smooth,
and my knees no longer bend.
My nails are yellowed, cracked, peeling,
and my hair is brittle and quickly turning gray.
I sing with a cough,
have no breasts,
am riddled with scars,
stand on knotty, calloused feet,
and suffer pain almost every day.
This is who I am on the outside.
This is what others see.

Am I just a body,
a creature with a spirit inside?
Is this to be my only glory?

No, His truth declares otherwise.
The real me is spirit, hidden by flesh,
created in His image
where imperfections do not matter.
This is what He sees.
This is what He loves.
This is what He desires.
This He calls beautiful.
This He named Beloved.

I in Him, He in me,
All of us one with the Father -
Oh, what mysteries the Holy Spirit weaves.
Together forever.

This is my only glory.
This is His, too, to the glory of the Father.

2007-04-16T17:19:00.001-05:00

Today, O Lord,
my heart's request
is to snuggle in your arms
and be at rest,

knowing this truth
above all things -
my true purpose in life
is the joy your true presence brings.

So, let me not wander.
Let me not fret.
Let me remember
and never forget.

You are my joy,
my purpose, my life.
All is well
when I'm at your side.

Please keep my heart tender.
Keep it true,
eyes always upward
gazing only at you.

2007-04-12T17:46:00.000-05:00

Holy fire from up above
invade my heart today.
Burn fierce and strong in that secret cove.
Cleanse the world away.

Don't want any of the other things
often confused with this holy flame,
like the joy of emotions, gratitude, or fellowship.
Just want that holy blaze

to burn like lava in my stony heart
forging fiery faith anew.
For one who has this volcanic heat
has freedom, strong and true,

and reverence for the honor of the most high God
and the things He loves the most.
So, welcome holy wind, holy water.
My heart is now your host.

Burn brighter and hotter, deeper and purer
than anything I've ever known.
Lead me down that one true path
where His heart becomes my home.

Do with your life whatever will set you free

to give the most love.

~ Theresa of Avila

Tears

2007-03-16T14:02:00.000-05:00

Saline droplets falling from the windows of our soul

Caused by frustration or irritation,
physical pain or need,
joy or some hilarious circumstance, a "faux paux,"
more often than not, from grief or regret

Broken hearts, broken lives -
the stuff of tears

Why we cry reveals who we truly are.

Are we prideful and self-centered
only weeping in personal pain or loss,
or do we, like Jesus, weep over others?
Does their pain move me?
Does their sin cause me distress?
Do I see those with nothing and feel compassion?
Can I sense God's heart?

Oh, to be the rocks, the dust beneath the feet of Jesus
bathed, sanctified by His courageous, compassionate tears.

Oh, to have a broken heart,
one that weeps when God whispers,
that hates what He hates,
loves what He loves,
that hears when His tiniest tear falls
and responds with a kindred knowing.

Oh, to be a friend of God.

We are not abandoned forever.

Though He brings grief,

He also shows the great compassion of His unfailing, everlasting love.

Lamentations 3: 31-32

Come and Sit Upon the Throne of My Heart

2007-02-06T15:26:00.001-06:00

Come and sit upon the throne of my heart, O Lord.
Come in and make my heart your home.
I take everything
that you've given me,
and I bow
in true humility.
I lay it all before your majesty.

Because of your mercy,
I am no longer enslaved.
Because of your love,
I'm not what I was.
Because of your grace,
I can now see.
In your divine will,
you've rescued me.

May your kingdom come.
Yes, may your holy will be done.
May your kingdom sovereignly come,
and may your holy will be done . . . in me.

2007-02-06T15:14:00.000-06:00

Soul shaper,
cleanse and reshape me
from my head down to my toes
and everything in between.
Cleanse me with your spirit.
Make me truly free
to love and to serve others
as you have so loved me.

Heart breaker,
completely shatter my heart.
Gather all the pieces.
Use your holy art
to put it back together
as only you can do.
Fill it with compassion.
Bathe it in your truth.

Dream planter,
sweep and clean my mind.
May you find an empty space
to fill with heaven's finds -
visions, revelation,
songs that stir the heart.
Silence all the enemy's lies.
May we never be apart.

Miracle worker,
come and make me new.
Transform my heart and my mind.
Flood me with your truth.
Whatever you find wicked,
wherever there is disease,
come, touch and cleanse and heal.
Release your liberty.

Be the Message

2007-02-06T14:16:00.000-06:00

Rulers, emperors, kings usually sit enthroned.
Others do their bidding.
Not so, the King of Kings.
No passive ruler here.
The Lord of all the heavens and earth
donned a servant's pose and washed feet -
filthy, tired, gnarly, stinky, calloused feet.
Oh, what generosity!
What love!

"Now go.
Do likewise.
As the Father has sent me,
so send I you."

Such generosity deserves, demands generous living.

Christ's story did not end with Him,
nor did His gifts,
nor did the supernatural,
nor did His mission.
His death was only the beginning of our story.

We were never called to be spectators only.
Christianity is not football
where only a select few play.
We are all "on the team."
We all have an important task.
We all have purpose.
We've all been given what we need for life and godliness,
what we need to discern the Father's heart,
what we need to be an active participant
in the greatest drama in the universe.

He was, is the message, the revelation of God.
God in Him; He, in God.
Now He is in us; we, in Him.
He/We are now the message, the revelation of God.

My prayer in light of all of this?
~ to be made ready for life
~ to have my soft spots exposed,
rough edges smoothed, weaknesses strengthened
~ to be made right, kept right, always doing right
~ to know and be known
~ to walk in humility above all else

Can never really know myself, my heart's motives
unless I can see your frighteningly lovely face
disfigured by compassion, suffering, death, and sin,
yet mysteriously beautiful, a lily among thorns.
You came from so high and stooped so low
to be the message, God's sent one.
Now, we are your message, the sent ones of God.

Stories

2006-11-09T15:15:00.000-06:00

Deborah . . .
Rahab . . .
Ruth . . .
Abigail . . .
Esther . . .
Elizabeth . . .
Mary . . .

Ordinary women? Yes . .

just living life,
trying to do what was right,
believing God's word,
trusting in His goodness, His wisdom, His ways,
standing strong in His love . . .

never knew they'd be one of the "Greats,"
their deeds laid bare for the world to scrutinize,
never dreamed they'd be "famous,"
their lives the subject of books and movies and songs and poems . . .

Yes, these were ordinary women . . .
weren't looking for notoriety,
weren't scheming for praise,
weren't trying to change the world . . .
BUT THEY DID!

The key to their success?
An EXTRAORDINARY GOD
and a willingness to believe His words to them . . .

Like so many faithful children of God,
they performed their lives and quietly exited the stage.

Their story has been written.
Ours, has not.

They had their moment in HIStory and chose wisely,
manifesting the glory of God
in strange lands, strange times, strange ways.

Yes, they had their moment.
Now we have ours.

Calling All Saints

2006-10-27T18:13:00.000-05:00

Calling all saints . . .
Get ready for His coming.
Calling all saints . . .
It's just around the bend.
Calling all saints . . .
Put your love into action and His name glorify.

Calling all saints . . .
Speak His word with boldness.
Calling all saints . . .
Live fearlessly.
Calling all saints . . .
Do the stuff that He's shown you and His name glorify.

For there is coming a day,
the great and awesome day of His return, of His return.
The Lion of Judah will roar,
and every nation will bow before Him, before Him.
The earth will shout in unity that He is Lord
to the glory of the Father.

Calling all saints . . .
Live in a manner worthy of the gospel.
Calling all saints . . .
Stand firmly unified.
Calling all saints . . .
Believe His promises to you and His name glorify.

Calling all saints . . .
Encourage one another.
Calling all saints . . .
Live in humility.
Calling all saints . . .
Rejoice always and His name glorify.

Calling all saints . . .
Fight with the weapons that He's given.
Calling all saints . . .
Seek His face today.
Calling all saints . . .
Be led by His Spirit and His name glorify.

Calling all saints . . .
Get ready for His coming.
Calling all saints . . .
It's just around the bend.
Calling all saints . . .
Put your love into action and His name glorify.

Above and Beyond

2006-10-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

Above and beyond all sin
is the power of the cross.
Oh, the mercy,
the majesty,
the mystery of God
whose anger was but momentary,
whose favor stands eternal!

Above and beyond all shame
is the mighty love of Jesus,
standing tall and sure
like a sentinel safeguarding the most intimate moments of my life.
Yes, I may weep in the dark clutches of the night,
but Joy comes in the morning.
Grief has no hold over me.
His call, life.
His compassions, new every day,
every day.
Great is His faithfulness,
His extravagant love.

Above and Beyond all else
is the definitive word of God.
What He declares,
what He opens,
no man can shut.
What He shuts cannot be opened.
His thoughts and ways, far above anything I can imagine.
His purposes, granite.
His word, life.

Above and Beyond all
is God.

*Good things do happen on Friday the 13th.

No Longer Lost

2006-09-08T17:25:00.000-05:00

No longer lost,
I have been set free.
My soul is now at rest
in His arms.

No longer lost,
I know I am His child.
My life is filled with peace.
I am loved.

No longer afraid of what will come
No longer ashamed of what I've done
No longer hopeless or confused
No longer helpless or alone
Embraced by forgiveness
Preserved by His faithfulness
I'm . . .

No longer lost,
I have found my home.
My heart is now alive
with His song.

I'm no longer lost.
Jesus' precious blood
brings me very near
to the heart of God

I'm no longer afraid of what will come,
no longer ashamed of what I've done.
I'm no longer hopeless or confused,
no longer helpless or alone.
I'm embraced by His forgiveness.
I'm preserved by the faithfulness of God.

Blessed Are All Those

2006-08-04T16:47:00.000-05:00

Blessed are all those whose trust is in the Lord.
Blessed are all those whose hope is in their maker.
Blessed are all those who love Him with all of their heart,
for He is faithful forever.

He upholds those who are pressed down
by the world and all of its ways.
He sends food to those who are hungry
and sets the prisoners free.
He gives sight to the blind
and lifts up the lowly.

He watches over all who are alone.
He frustrates the plans of the wicked,
but He blesses the plans of the righteous man
forever and ever and ever.

Forever and ever and ever . . .

We Will Remember

2006-05-30T14:31:00.000-05:00

See the old man sitting on a park bench.
Beside him sits his young one-armed friend.
Around them little faces eagerly gather
to hear grand tales of heroic women and men.
As the children smile and listen in wonder
and these comrades reminisce with laughter and tears,
I stand amazed and just cannot fathom
their sacrifice over the years,

and we say, "Thank you for the "V"alor in your heart,
for "E"ars to hear a country's need,
for the "T"ime that you have sacrificed
for your country and for me,
for the "E"arnest tears you've shed
in "R"emembrance of what was gained and who was lost.
You were the "A"nswer to someone's prayer somewhere out there.
"N"othing that you did was done in vain.

We will remember [we will remember]
and give thanks. [We thank God for you.]
We will remember and thank God for you.

The above is a song I wrote for a Veteran's Day program at Glencoe High School.
Shannon Camper, former Miss Alabama, sang this song.

Suffering

2006-05-11T13:31:00.000-05:00

Suffering separates the men from the boys,
the true sons and daughters from all the rest.
It is the ultimate test of all that a man is and believes.
It alone reveals our faith and trust in God's character,
in His love,
in Jesus' cross.

I lie if I bend my knee before Jesus' cross
but hate and despise the suffering and trouble in my own life.
He did not flee the cross.
He embraced it and all the humiliation and pain
that accompanied it,
for He could see beyond its shadow
the transformation His obedience would bring.
It was the only way.

I too must not flee.
I must embrace all that is ordained for me,
painful or not.
I must also see beyond the shadows
slivers of transforming light and grace.
It is simply the only way.

His love, His courage, His obedience carved a path for me.
Such love deserves acceptance . . .
no, demands it.

Therein is true peace with God.

Alive

2006-05-05T14:58:00.000-05:00

Seen a lot . . .
Felt way too much . . .
Heard it all . . .
Seem so out of touch . . .
Feel so alone . . .
Like no one understands . . .
Tired of it all . . .
Afraid to stand . . .

No one's immune
from the trials in this life.
We've all had our share
of the pain and of the strife.
It's a struggle . . .
Just want to survive . . .
Alive . . .

And if you're hurting, don't give up.
And if you're weary, don't give out.
And if you're tempted, don't give in.
And if you're afraid, just cry out, my friend.

There is one
who has seen what we've seen.
There is one
who has been where we've been.
There is one
who truly understands.
There is one
with the grace for us to stand.

And if you're hurting, don't give up.
And if you're weary, don't give out.
And if you're tempted, don't give in.
And if you're afraid, just cry out to Him.

2006-05-01T07:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, there is overwhelming trouble all about -
loud, wicked threats in the throats of angry men and children,
violence and strife in the city and homes and schools,
proud invaders set on conquest,
thieves with their hearts fixed on all we hold dear,
cheats offering the worthless as if it were treasure,
friends turned foes,
the overpowering terror of sickness and death.

Though these frightening dangers are present and real,
they are nothing
compared to the wickedness within my own heart,
the sin in my own breast.
Therein is my greatest horror.
That nailed Jesus to the cross.
That sin alone is what I see.
How could I ever point an accusing finger at another?
No, I reserve my judgment for myself alone.

Oh, that I had wings and could fly
far away to the quiet of the wilderness!
Oh, that I could escape the wild storm within!
But, there is no escape from this quiet beast
except in the cross of Christ.
There I must dwell.
To that I must cling.

"Blessed are those who realize their need for Him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them."
Matthew 5:3

2006-04-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

the will of God for my life:
to love as He loved me -
devotion pregnant with deeds,
attitude alive with action . . .

How do I love as He did?

help when it's inconvenient,
give even when it hurts,
consider another's need before considering my own,
not be offended, but forgiving,
be content and not complain . . .

such a tall order,
but a doable one . . .

If it were an impossible dream,
He would not have asked.

2006-04-21T12:25:00.000-05:00

Betrayed by one,
denied by another,
deserted by all,
He knew everything,
yet He stripped,
He stooped,
He washed . . . feet.

Holy moment!
Oh, servant king, our holy example!

"Do as I have done . . .
This is the path of blessing."

2006-04-21T12:18:00.000-05:00

sweet redemption,
miracle of miracles,
new birth,
regenesis . . .

in Christ, a new creature . . .
Old is gone.
All is new.
Behold the handiwork of God . . .

less of me,
more of Jesus,
His nature . . .

should be the most amazing people in the world
because we have hope,
true hope,
living hope - Jesus . . .

Hope is not a word.
It is Jesus, the living word.
Hope's enemy - unbelief . . .

nothing that cannot come true in Him . . .
should have high expectations,
big, Godly dreams . . .

cannot out-hope God,
out-expect Him . . .

God has begotten US again unto a living hope.

Never Looking Back

2006-04-18T15:17:00.000-05:00

Alone, yet not alone,
I travel a safe path
encompassed by dangers all around.
You have gone before.
I need but follow,
certain of your promises . . .

protection and comfort and joy,
a love that turns the bitter into sweet
and mends the broken with oil and wine,
arms that draw and enfold
and will never let me stumble,
grace that enables and sustains
and will not let me faint or fear,
a smile that lifts the darkest of darkness,
a voice that sends courage
pulsing through my entire being . . .

Your counsel?
No fear!
No waste!
No despair!
Just faith
and purpose
and wisdom!

Hidden in you,
face ever forward,
never looking back.

To All Us Marthas

2006-04-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

Lord, I have a Martha's heart
yet desire to be like Mary.

Don't want to miss the sweet reality of your presence,
frantically busy trying to please you.
Don't want to forfeit your tenderness
to eagerly minister to you and yours.

You desire not my efforts to please or my ministry
but all of me, my heart and soul, my love.
If I could but learn to give this first,
everything done afterwards would be light and free,
never heavy or confining, never burdensome.

Would you deconstruct my Martha's heart
and make it more like Mary's?
Could it learn to be at peace?
Could it know the sweet reality of your tender presence,
the freedom of your precious love?

As a song is easily transposed from one key to another,
do so in me.
Transpose my heart.
Help me shift gears,
or I will not survive.

2006-03-22T14:45:00.000-06:00

Hope for the best.
Plan for the worst.
Trust unflinchingly.
Humbly walk in honesty.
All that's left is to rest.

2006-03-21T15:20:00.000-06:00

The very thing we set aside
and hallow before the Lord
is the very thing
that invites our flesh to arise.

Stand I Will

2006-03-20T14:41:00.000-06:00

unconscious of His presence,
blind and numb and alone . . .

But suffering and endurance, though painful,
do have a task to perform both within us and without.
Within us, they craft our souls, our character.
Without, they are witness of His grace.

Must embrace what comes,
for what is is His will,
sweet or otherwise.
Must not focus on the pain, the lack,
for doing so makes for an even heavier load.

Lightly come, lightly go.
Because of His love, His favor,
I can stand.
Stand, I will.

2006-03-20T14:39:00.000-06:00

From all fear,
from all weakening,
from all turning back . . .
O Lord, deliver us.

by Amy Carmichael

2006-03-16T14:21:00.000-06:00

Let God be as original with other people as He is with you.
~Oswald Chambers

Is It Too Late?

2006-03-16T14:16:00.000-06:00

Lost in a maze of complaints and suspicion,
wandering in the wasteland of pride and judgment,
undone by arguments and a lack of trust,
I stumble
and humble myself before you.

These eyes were meant to gaze on majesty.
These lips, to sing your praise.
These ears, to hear divine whispers.
These hands, to serve a holy king.
These knees, to bow in worship.
These feet, to dance before your throne.
This mind, to fathom incredible mysteries.
This heart, to be your home.

Here in the dirt,
I dare lift my chin and humbly cry,
"Is it too late?"

Obedience

2006-03-15T16:40:00.000-06:00

Christ's passion,
precious ultimatum of divine love,
true love's knot uniting the beginning with the end,
bringing the ancient past and eternal future into focus,
empowering the present to momentarily stand still.

All the world an audience,
a witness to the timeless denouement performed on this universal stage.
'Twas no ordinary playwright, no ordinary actor centerstage
fretting over His lines,
fussing about makeup and costume,
desiring fame.
'Twas the only Son of God.

No special skills required to play this scene . . . but to die --
what all men must inevitably do.
But this death, this divine execution, demanded more than skill.
It required obedience --
whispers and groans and sweat and blood
crying out, "Not my will but Thine."
Saying and doing only what the Father says and does --
this, the power of the cross.

What fueled this obedience?
Love, unity, reverence, purpose?
Before He could obey, He had to hear.
Hearing required Gethsemane, room in His life to be alone with God.
There were no devotional books, no Bible He could carry with Him as guide,
no jam box for the latest musical ditties.
His life was the word all the world would one day read,
the melody we would one day sing.

O, divine example!
Our destiny is also bound up in obedience,
in hearing the heartcry of God -- "Come to the cross and die.
Come to live and not just survivie."
This is not a one-time event.
Every day should be a Gethsemane where we say yes to God
and let ourselves die to everything but His precious will.
All the world, our audience.
Our lives, the stage.
His life, His death -- our script.

Gethsemane was dark.
Gethsemane was lonely.
Gethsemane was crushing.
This, the power of the cross.

I Seek No Higher Word Than Jesus

2006-03-13T13:31:00.000-06:00

I seek no higher word than Jesus.
No other truth, no revelation do I need.
Nothing could replace this living, breathing example --
God's true message -- love, obedience, humility.

He is enough to completely satisfy.
What more could I possibly desire?
Fixing my eyes on Him alone
kindles within my stony heart a passionate fire.

More than I could ever imagine,
more than the stuff of all my dreams,
He is all, God's complete word,
answer for everything I need --

brother, companion, master,
hope of all creation, God's only son,
my joy, my peace, my purpose revealed,
epitome of perfect love.

Why do I seek an answer
in any other place but in Him?
His life is the rarest of treasure,
heavenly prize, ultimate gift to all men.

Yes, I seek no higher word than Jesus.

2006-03-13T13:24:00.000-06:00

to see the masterpiece of God,
to peek behind the tapestry and briefly experience enlightenment
momentarily understanding the divine,
feeling His gentle push amidst the minute details of my life

nothing by chance but by careful orchestration,
each note, each nuance fashioned just for me

O, the majesty, the beauty of His style,
the holiness of the moment

maybe not by chance, but it truly feels like luck,
destiny interwoven in mysterious chaos

to be the masterpiece of God,
to momentarily see the map and briefly experience His purpose
finally understanding His will,
feeling His nudge and responding quickly
to circumstances beyond my control

O, what a dance,
movements so fluid, unencumbered,
each step, each twirl private

O, the mystery, whispers of His love,
the holiness of the moment

Sacred dance, holy romance,
sweet, divine fantasy --
O, that this moment would be the rule and not the exception

2006-03-11T08:16:00.000-06:00

How wide, your blessings.
How long, your promises.
How high, your majesty,
O Lord, our king.

How merciful, your judgments.
How timely, your grace for me.
How wise, your living word,
O Lord, our king.

Let your kingdom come,
your will be done,
your glory revealed in our lives,
Lord Jesus, the Christ.

2006-03-11T08:11:00.000-06:00

holy intersection
where breath of life
and light of knowing kiss,
fueling a holy explosion --

first fall the scales,
out bursts the light,
then roar the flames of
divine passion,
purity,
purpose --

God's divine dream
birthing in our hearts
wonder,
understanding --

to see and be seen,
to hear and be heard,
to love and be loved,
to feel,
to finally understand --

light and love beyond words,
joy and tears --

His desire, my deepest need --
"You have captured my heart, my bride,
and every part of you is fair."

2006-03-10T11:23:00.000-06:00

Jesus proclaimed,
"I am the way, the truth, the life.
No one can come to the Father but through me."
His is the only passageway.
There is no back door.

To enter, one must humble himself before God
and agree with His judgment.
Yes, we are but flesh.
Yes, we are but sin.
Yes, we are lost.
Yes, there is no good in us, for only God is good.
Yes, we are desperately blind and poor and needy and naked.

Naked we entered; naked we shall leave.
There is simply no other way,
at least no other "Godway."

The other door, or "Satanway,"
leads straight to hell.
There is no back door there either.

Ultimately, we must choose.
Godway?
Satanway?
No one else can make the choice for us.
No one can be forced to travel either path.
The choice is totally voluntary.

There is only so much time to choose,
and no one knows how much time He's been allottted.
Today?
Tomorrow?
Better make it today.
Tomorrow might leave you looking for a back door.

Rocks, Pirates, and Storms

2006-03-09T13:11:00.001-06:00

'Tis a journey filled with
rocks, pirates, and storms --
danger all around --
a divine adventure,
a holy race in search of holy bounty --
the treasures of grace:
a heart of wisdom,
a life of faith,
arms of love,
vision of hope,
confidence in the Captain's words.

These alone sustain the weary traveller,
help him weather all that assails his ship.

Never truly safe until arriving home
where we see His approving smile
and hear His gentle, welcoming word
and feel strong arms of love, of safety
and know the glory of His company,
the power of His strength
and see the big picture.

Only then will be revealed
the holy wind that steered our course
and protected us from that
which desired to utterly destroy us --
the rocks, pirates, and storms.

2006-03-08T14:44:00.000-06:00

Some of us live in shadows.
Some, in the light of day.
Which way doesn't really matter
if we love Him and obey.

Both environments require
tremendous faith, hope, and love
and to be totally abandoned
to the Father up above.

Neither habitat requires
cookie-cutter sameness.
Our individuality, uniqueness, diversity
are the stamp of a divine impress.

Yes, we have not the same virtues.
Nor do we dwell in identical places,
but there are a few activities
that are common to all of our faces.

We can all be connected
to God and to His grace.
We can all be abandoned
to His will, whatever the place.

We can all be receptive
to what is most fitting for us,
and we can all seek His kingdom
and thus . . .

share in His glory.

2006-03-08T14:35:00.000-06:00

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled."

When I read your precious words
or gaze into your lovely face,
mixed emotions flood me deep inside.
Almost at once, I love what you love -- me.
O, what tenderness is there in your eyes.

Unfortunately and quietly,
that love also mirrors that in me which you hate,
and I hate it -- and me.

Discovering what you hate lurking inside of me
shames me so and makes me wonder
if I'll ever be able to please you.

Will I ever hear your "well done"?

Will I ever be one of yours
who forsakes you or denies you close to the end
so that there isn't time for repentance and forgiveness,
for reconciliation?

Will I be deceived and carried off by another stream?

People say I'm too hard on myself,
but I hate what you hate.
I'm also trying desperately to love what you love.
There's the rub.
I love and hate me.
I feel so accepted, so clean
and then so dirty, so very bad.
Is this hungering and thirsting for righteousness?

His Song

2006-03-08T14:26:00.000-06:00

While wandering down a darkened path
because the light had driven me away --
beseiged, surrounded, bitter, hard, walled in --
is there no escape?

Even when I cried for help,
my prayers seemed unheard.
A pierced heart, a weakened mind, a weary soul --
my only rewards.

Yet, in my listless wanderings,
a shadow, I clearly now can see.
A ray of hope, the Lord's great love,
His compassion have never failed me.

Rejoice, my soul!
Awake from your sleep!
His hand is ever near!
Take heart! Do not fear!

For the Lord is my portion.
Therefore, I will rest in Him.
He is good to those who seek Him,
those who quietly hope in Him.
He is my salvation,
deliverer, and king.
He is my restorer.
His is the only song I'll sing.

Now, when the dark begins to fall
and slowly clouds the eyes of my soul,
when things that I can't understand
creep in and try to seize complete control,

I will stand firm knowing
there is one who knows me thoroughly.
Believing in His mercy and love,
He is ever redeeming me.

For the Lord is my portion.
Therefore, I will rest in Him.
He is good to those who seek Him,
those who quietly hope in Him.
He is my salvation,
deliverer, and king.
He is my restorer.
His is the only song I'll sing,
the only song I will ever sing.

2006-03-08T14:21:00.000-06:00

Like molten, precious metals waiting patiently for some form,
or a blank canvas awaiting an artist's inspiration,
or giant slabs of stone, void of shape and meaning
until an unctioned hand picks up hammer and chisel --
like these I stand,
hopefully abandoned enough to yield to your creative scheme.

Divine form,
divine color,
divine touch --
these are what I desperately need,
what I desire.

More of you and less of me --
you, the solid;
I, liquid essence evaporating until only you remain.
You, the seen;
I, invisible.

Please not the refuse heap.
Please not a heart of stone.

What Awesome Love

2006-03-08T14:18:00.000-06:00

O, what awesome love
that doesn't just love
but embraces all of me --
my thoughts,
my questions,
my words,
my deeds,
my joy,
my suffering,
my fears,
my loneliness,
my dreams.

How can I,
who cannot even comprehend such a love gift,
even begin to embrace all that you are --
your thoughts,
your answers,
your words,
your deeds,
your joy,
your suffering,
your boldness,
your dreams.

Such treasure,
too marvelous for words --
beyond all comprehension.
O, what awesome love.

2006-03-07T13:42:00.000-06:00

God of the beginning
and God of the end,
God over all my enemies
and over all my friends,

God of the past
and of the future, too,
God of the old
and God of the new,

God through all my failures
and behind all my success,
God over all that is evil
and of all that is good and best,

God in the highest heavens
and in the lowest depths,
God over outward appearances
and over our secret selves,

God of the lowly
and God over the proud,
God of tremendous silence
and of all that thunders and is loud,

God in the midst of the dark
and God of all that is light,
God when I can see
and God when I have no sight,

God in the throes of great weakness
and God behind all great strength,
God when I am desperately alone
and when I am in the company of friends,

God when I am crying
and when I laugh aloud,
God behind the sunshine
and behind the dark rain clouds,

Alpha and Omega,
reigning today and yesterday,
O, what comfort,
what mighty majesty,

That the Lord of all the heavens
and of all that is below,
the Lord of the summer's heat
and the Lord of the winter's snow,

Would even notice that I exist
and choose to call me friend --
Mighty God of all extremes
and of all that lies between.

2006-03-07T13:36:00.000-06:00

Contentment is not a gift.
It is a learned skill.

To be happy with a little,
one first has to have had much
and then have lost it
or had it stolen
or have watched it break along life's way.

Only then can "much" ever be enjoyed again.

Brokenness in all its many grotesque shapes
may not be beautiful,
but it may be necessary for strength.

Emptiness and loss may not feel warm or fuzzy,
but nothing full can ever be filled --
only the hungry, the desperate.

Whatever is was meant to be,
stuff allowed by love divine.

If I cannot be satisfied with what was lovingly chosen just for me,
delicately prepared by Love's large heart and hands,
then nothing -- NO THING -- will ever satisfy me.

2006-02-23T17:11:00.000-06:00

Children of God -
such are we.
A work in progress -
no one yet knows what we will be,
but when He appears,
all will see -
we will be like Him.

The diligent refiner
with tireless love and steadfast hope
sits by the fires
gazing, guarding the silver, the gold.
When is it finished,
all impurities truly gone?
"The moment I see my face."

2006-02-23T17:02:00.000-06:00

While chasing illusive perspective today, I remembered that this is war.

Everything that is is the aftermath of this war.

Do not want to be a deserter.
Do not want to be just a survivor.

Want to help slay the monster.
Want to be a participant faithfully and passionately standing my ground.
Want to join the ranks of fresh warriors entering the great arena.
Want to hear the cheers of heaven, the Father's, "Well done. Enter in."
Want to war with all that opposes God's rule, His divine kingdom.

Yes, this is war,
a war in which there are no civilians.

Though I am totally unaware most days of the battles raging around me,
still they rage with all of the forces of heaven and hell
glistening with the divine sweat of battle.

Holy blood, sweat, and tears.

The blood of Christ,
the sweat of divine muscles,
the tears of the saints -
all holy weapons in this divine war.

O, for strong hands, heart, and mind,
for the resolve to stay in it,
for a glimpse of the prize.

2006-02-23T17:00:00.000-06:00

Today matters for eternity!

2006-02-02T14:41:00.000-06:00

Power without purity
is mere nonsense.
Asking for this is only
honoring Him with our lips.

Interim

2006-01-26T14:38:00.000-06:00

Between Christ's humble entrance into our world and His glorious, promised second coming,
I exist.

I may die before He returns, but who knows? I might just be alive.

If I should die, I desire to die well. To accomplish that, I must live well.

How then does one live well?

Discover what He's called me to do and do it.
Be full of faith and hope and love.
Believe in His goodness during the whatsoevers of my days.
Live soberly, alertly in this drunken, evil world.
Remember those who have no one to remember them.

Living in this interim is like attending God's greatest play ever.

It has only two acts and an itermission.

The first act was riveting, intense, filled with

creation.
prophecy.
incarnation.
passion.
resurrection.
commissioning.
promise.

Almost too much action for any heart!

During intermission, I stand amazed and remember refreshed by the bread and wine, eagerly looking forward to the second act.

How can the second ever top the first?

Every morning should be a Christmas morning where I awaken alert and filled with hope of His coming.

Every day I should look back and remember, pause in thankfulness, and then look forward, eagerly awaiting His presence, ever mindful of His purpose for my life.

2006-01-26T13:42:00.000-06:00

Each day is vibrantly alive
with the "little" glories of God,
and shamed am I in admitting
a dullness which has caused me great loss -
that I am too often not wary
of golden treasure scattered all about me
and my eyes are unfortunately focused
on something other than what I was meant to see . . .

fragrant roses, a fuchsia glory,
standing regally in cut plastic on my front porch . . .
a roast, potatoes, carrots,
chocolate pie on a day that was worse than most . . .
Saturday afternoon, lunch, visiting a nursery,
cool drink, great view, relaxing talk . . .
finding in my mailbox a pink bandana
left by a friend who'd completed a long 5k walk . . .
ears so quick to listen
to the lunatic ravings of fear . . .
hearts so lovingly creative . . .
hands, so full, so near . . .

These were but visible signs
of love for me -
mighty, flesh-and-blood mirrors
reflective of divine glory.
Hopefully, I am of the teachable sort
and can learn to truly see
the value in little, gigantic things.
Nothing is too small to contain golden mystery.

Thank you for journeying with me through cancerland.
You know who you are, and so does God.
May He richly reward you for all of your kindnesses to me.

2006-01-25T17:36:00.000-06:00

Hope --
one of the good four-lettered words,
steadfast companion of faith and love,
protector of purpose --

No hope, no faith.
No hope, no love.
No hope, no purpose.

Hope remembers everything good, everything God,
and remembering increases faith
which strengthens us to love,
and in love we find purpose.
Purpose gives us life.
No hope, no life.

Alive, I'm Christ's.
Dead, I'm Christ's.
Whether alive or dead, I'm His,
so how can I possibly lose?

Awesome choice --
life or more life?
Therein, I have hope and faith and love and purpose.
I live.
Christ IN ME, the hope of glory -- in me.
Not my hope --
the hope of all glory, of God --
IN ME.

New Year

2006-01-19T12:37:00.000-06:00

sobering thoughts about this new year . . .

stuck in the middle of an ancient struggle,
good vs. evil

born destined for war
with a real enemy who desires to destroy me, us

The real fight comes as we become a real threat.

don't want to panic when the warfare comes

want to stand dressed for battle . . .
head covered with a helmet of salvation,
mind cleansed by the blood of Jesus,
sWORD in one hand, faith's shield in the other,
heart surrounded by the breastplate of Jesus' righteousness,
feet shod with His peace,
engaged in prayer always,
watchful to the end,
boldly going wherever He commands

when age-old minute appears
and we wonder if He's there,
if He cares,
if He can,
want to stand my ground,
not giving up

ALL weapons are defensive, except the sWORD.
Study it.
Love it.
Obey it.
Live it.

Amy Carmichael's prayer: "From all fear, from all weakening,
from all turning back, the Lord deliver us."

2005-12-21T16:46:00.001-06:00

Awakened this morning feeling the weight of my world, alone -- forgotten and forsaken in the morning darkness amidst spiritual clouds hanging so low that no horizon could be seen, no friendly ray of hope, no precious word of friendship, only this warning:

I alone am responsible for all that exists in my world, I and no one else.

My health, my recovery, my happiness or lack thereof, the condition of my heart and the gratefulness/faithlessness therein -- all are my responsibility alone.

Adrift among this deluge of feelings, I am quickened by your word to remember the facts, the eternal.

Feelings are fleeting, like clouds which obscure the horizon, yet the horizon remains eternal, fixed like the promises of God.

Amy says, "We may not see the shining of the promises, but still they shine."

Oh, how they do shine this moment.

Right now, this is no dream.

You are!

You are good!

You rule over everything and everyone, everywhere!

You love me and have called me, and I cannot -- you will not let me -- forget this.

Again today, you speak as only you can precious, unfathomable thoughts that amaze and humble me, reminding me of who I am and am not and of who you are.

Yes, oh yes, you are.

Quote by Amy Carmichael.

2005-12-20T16:19:00.000-06:00

Seventy years,
maybe eighty -
just a blink in eternity.

So little time left -
twenty years,
maybe thirty.
Could be less,
could be more.

How do I spend the rest of my days?
Loving you,
enjoying all you have given -
creation, family, friends, health,
divine encounters, your precious presence.

Don't want to miss any of it.
Don't want to take any of it for granted.
Want to appreciate all of it, every drop.
Want to spend every moment mindful of you.
Want to die with a heart full of wisdom and worship.
Want to live that way too!

A song in my heart,
a smile on my lips,
open arms and eyes,
always looking up no matter how far down I am.

Thus is Faith

2005-12-15T11:43:00.000-06:00

'Tis a world filled with chaos and trouble,
rivers of tears,
fountains of hate.

We struggle to survive,
to smile,
to remember that this multitude of woes only seems
like a barrier of bronze remaining unopened.

The unmovable is but a momentary diversion
whose sole purpose is but to distract,
to disappoint,
to frustrate.

'Tis but the tempter's invitation to quit,
merely a dark cloud behind which a great light shines.

The light shines always,
regardless of the cloud or the night.

Our task is to see the light,
to believe in its beneficence always,
to feel its warm smile in spite of the cold or dark,
to hear its gentle song in the night,
to know its purpose for our lives,
to touch its tears and its strength,
to stand steadfast,
solid like an oak that bends in the roughest wind
but does not break.

2005-12-13T14:48:00.000-06:00

O Love,
who hast made me what I am and delights in what thou hast made,
thou changest not.
As the prophets of old donned the names of the blessed on their hearts and shoulders,
so I am engraved upon thy heart, hand, and might.
Love, mercy, and strength rest there.
So do I, Lord.
So do I.

Carry me tenderly there,
and let thy heart's passion encourage mine so that my heart is impassioned with thine.
Let thy hands' mercy fill mine so that my hands do the divine,
and let thy might strengthen me that I might stand strong and courageous in thy love.

Without thy help,
all is lost.
My love will fade,
my strength will wane -
no mercy alive in my breast.
With holy chords bind me to thy heart, thy hand, thy strength.
Be thou my sustenance.
Be thou my all.
As there is no shadow of change in thy heart,
let no inkling of treason be found in mine.

Persist, mighty Lord.
Persist!
Please do not give up on me.
My love secured by thine . . . or death.

Let Us Live as Father and Child

2005-12-06T16:04:00.000-06:00

Let us not be enemies
but live as Father and child.
Let not my flesh be master
and my appetite for the world run wild.
Let my vision be focused
on holiness, righteousness, and truth.
Let my heart be centered,
mind visually fixed on you.

If I must have an addiction,
let me be wise and adamantly choose
a divine and holy elixir,
a heavenly liqueur
that makes me thirsty and giddy
and seek the wide world o'er
for something simple, untamed, alive
over which I have no control --

a mysterious wind, a holy piper perhaps
whose sword and might and cry
announce freedom for all who will follow --
liberty, fair play, new life.
Something worthy -- "to die for,"
something enormous, larger than just me.
Oh, please let us live as Father and child.
Let us not be enemies.

Living Shadows of the Divine

2005-12-06T16:00:00.000-06:00

To arise and go to the Father,
To become all that was first in His heart,
To desire the best whatever, wherever,
To truly turn and make a new start,
To declare, "Not my will, but thine, Lord,"
To do what I was created to do,
To love all as He loved and deny self,
To see the divine in everyone else, too --
This is the will of my Father.
This, the example of the Son.
This, the Spirit's mission.
Make it so, Lord. Make us one.

2005-11-29T15:01:00.000-06:00

He, who for the joy set before Him,
dared to die
so that I might live
reconciled through His death,
saved through His life.
This, to the amazement of the universe.
This, to the glory of God!

Not I,
but Christ living and moving in and through me.
This now is hope --
the hope of heaven,
the glory of God,
the cry of my heart.

Through faith,
heaven's gateway,
truly this can be.
"Through faith, all things given.
Through faith, all things received."
By faith, all is accomplished.
Miracle of miracles!

Quote by A. W. Tozer

Paradox

2005-11-29T14:54:00.000-06:00

Standing here before you,
I long to run and hide.
Your majesty is so awesome.
Your power, undenied.
One glance from your burning eyes, Lord,
and I'm driven to my knees.
As you open wide your mouth
and slowly begin to speak,
I tremble.
I fear
your holiness.

What is this I'm hearing?
Oh, could this really be?
Does this great and awesome presence
truly love and cherish me?
Here comes your mighty hand now.
Will I die, or will I live?
"Welcome, weary pilgrim.
You've truly been forgiv'n.
Please do not tremble.
Neither be afraid
of my holiness."

To fear,
to not be afraid -
oh, how my heart is torn.
I tremble
yet dare to believe
and joyfully embrace my new home.

2005-11-29T14:52:00.000-06:00

So, I rest today in what God is.
This alone is faith.
Nothing here surprises Him.
Nothing can escape
His loving eyes, His jealous heart,
His boundless faithfulness.
He knows and cares like no one else.
Today, I'm truly blessed.

The Jewel

2005-11-23T16:17:00.000-06:00

This is dedicated to my two beautiful jewels in India, Sudha and Mercy. May God bless them wherever they may be.

While wandering down a barren lane
viewing refuse of a so-called higher race,
dust and filth, sorrow and pain
ran rampant in this place.

No visible sign of hope
could I then detect,
when something within urged, "Look closer.
You just may find something yet!"

So, I slowly approached the nearest heap
with a stick close in hand
and began to carefully rummage
through the throwaways of man.

Something caught a ray of light,
blinding me for some time.
Upon much closer inspection,
I realized my preciuos find.

There in the midst of the dust and filth,
encased in sorrow and pain,
lay a jewel as none I'd ever seen,
far from anything ordinary or plain.

Gently, I picked it up,
tucked it safely in my arms,
took it home, cleansed away the filth,
and discovered a beautiful little girl.

How could she be overlooked?
"Happens every day. See,
people look with only the eyes of the world
seeing just the surface, not what's beneath.

My heart now aches for a race that sees
not just through the eyes of man,
but who look with their hearts
and are loving and merciful to all men.

Then a person's worth will not be judged
by his value in dollars and cents,
but will be weighed by truth, by hope, by love
and truly treasured, my friend.

Then other jewels will be plucked from the trash,
no longer lost, but gloriously found
to be cut and polished, perfected, purified,
and placed in the great King's crown."

2005-11-22T16:31:00.000-06:00

You turned to me
when I called your name,
and your eyes were filled with fear.
Your heart was full of shame,
and you cried, "Lord, I've turned and forgotten you.

Life seemed so hard.
All seemed in vain.
Nothing went right.
Nothing was gained.
Lord, I've turned and forgotten you.

How could I forget your goodness?
How could I ignore your grace?
How could I be blind to your faithfulness
and the love upon your face?

Forgive me. Cleanse now my heart.
Open my eyes and ears.
Show me where to start
to come, O Lord, to come
humbly to you."

The past is past.
This moment, new.
I stand here now,
arms wide open for you.

Yes, life is hard,
but nothing is in vain.
There is nothing to lose now
and everything to gain,
for I never, not ever have forgotten you.

"Lord, I'll not forget your goodness.
I'll not forget your grace.
I'll not be blind to your faithfulness
and the love upon your face.

I receive your forgiveness.
I will walk strong in your grace.
I believe in your great mercy
and your goodness in this place.
So Lord, I bow, humbly bow before you."

2005-11-22T16:28:00.000-06:00

Though my eyes have seen many bitter things,
though my life didn't turn out like my dreams,
though my heart felt so desperately alone,
I've seen your goodness.
I've known your comfort.
I've felt your gentle touch in this land.
Yes, in this land.

2005-11-22T16:21:00.000-06:00

You love me, need me.
You need me because you love me.
Your voice ever calling, ever wooing,
the sunshine's warmth,
the strength of sky and stone,
the melody of bird and stream,
the wind's gentle touch,
the color of grass and sky --
all these speak of your love,
your need,
my need.
All whisper your name,
my name
softly, gently.
Come, please come.

You are love, life.
Your love is life.
Your life is love.
Living is loving.
Loving is living.
You, in me.
I, in you - freely, love's captive.
Freedom or captivity?
One in the same.
My love is my need.
My need, my love.

2005-11-16T16:27:00.000-06:00

to go where you're going,
to see as you see,
to hear what you're saying,
to be truly free,
to know by your spirit,
to hear your heart's song,
to stand in your presence,
humbly bow before your throne
receiving forgiveness,
strengthened by grace,
warmed by your mercy
and the smile on your face,
your tender blanket of love
thrown over me,
quiet joy, assuring peace,
so precious to me . . .
You are so precious to me.

dichotomy of contradictions

2005-11-16T16:12:00.000-06:00

soul, safe
feelings, perilous
retirement, secure
labor, fierce
encouragement, exhausting

take risks?
experiment?
at whose expense?
mine?
my family's?
my friends'?

hindrances --
doubt, confusion,
fear, disgrace,
discomfort, gall

distant ears
strange place
seemingly endless quest
for freedom -
thought within reach

let me be,
safely search,
regain integrity, purpose
reclaim destiny
hope it's not too late

2005-11-16T15:59:00.000-06:00

Behind all that changes and all that can be changed stands the unchangeable one,
my one and only joy,
the everlasting God,
I am.

Nothing and no one else lasts --
no gift,
no blessing,
no friendship,
no love.

In only Him is there no abandonment, no neglect.
He is never indifferent,
neither forgetful nor ignorant of my pain or lack.

He knows all and cares anyway.
His means, sufficient for my need.
His love alone, my place of rest, my home.
All else fails.

Mystery

2005-11-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

power, suffering --
two sides of the same coin,
divine intersection where love and mercy meet,
where goodness is transformed into life --
the mystery, the miracle of the cross,
the power of Christ

He understood all and still did what was good.

How do we follow in His steps?
How do we move from powerless to empowered?
What separates the two?

Nothing but time, focus, and dreams.

What am I constantly thinking about?
What occupies my mind?
What are the dreams I hold close to my heart?
My thoughts, my "day dreams," are my life's dreams.
The worthy dreams empower me to understand and choose to do the good.
The other births impotence.

Not too long ago, I suffered.
In that suffering was much time to think.
The good days were those days when my thoughts were fixed on Him.
On those days, I could face anything and was satisfied with little.
On those days, I endured.
I overcame.
The other days were wasted,
consumed by self-pity and discontent.
Focus was the difference between the good and the not-so-good,
the powerful and the powerless.

Why does it take suffering to cause such focus?
Is that the only time our souls are still enough to comprehend
the breadth and length and height and depth of Him,
the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
so that we can be filled with all the fullness of God.

That which is truly important is important all the time.
The other, just a waste of time.

Eternal

2005-11-15T17:55:00.000-06:00

Life doesn't last.
Neither do sorrow and pain.
Hope and faith too will pass,
but love and joy remain.
They alone are eternal.

2005-11-15T17:47:00.000-06:00

retired last night so unsatisfied, restless . . .
awoke this morning wanting, hungry, soul growling deep within

want to be abandoned to you, to your artistry
want to be satisfied, content with your boundaries
want to be at rest and not struggle with why
want to know what every moment says to my heart and not scramble to know what has been said to another

don't want to be filled with pride, afraid of honesty
don't want to be self-centered, consumed by self-pity
don't want to rely on my intellect and deny your spirit
don't want to invent things to do or be presumptuous
don't want to need a reputation or to be seen
don't want to dwell on the past but glory in the future
don't want to despise the small or miss anything or anyone you've sent my way

want to be free and allow you to freely move in me

Faith

2005-11-15T17:43:00.000-06:00

to love, to cherish what each moment brings
and consider it the best of all possible things

to have perfect confidence in God's activity
and believe that His goodness has never failed me

to welcome His will, His presence, His word
and totally abandon myself without reserve

to offer myself in all honesty
and believe that He approves and accepts even me

Thus is faith.

Herein are the makings of a grateful heart.

No Distance

2005-11-15T17:39:00.000-06:00

no distance between --
close enough to hear you whisper,
feel you breathe,
hear your heartbeat,
sense the brush of your arm
and the strength of your presence,
the glow of your smile,
love's twinkle in your eyes --
how sweet this intimacy!

O, what longing!

by faith alone
to the end

2005-11-09T16:58:00.000-06:00

O what love . . .
that carried my weaknesses and my sorrows
and was wounded and crushed for my sin,
beaten that I might have peace,
tortured that I might be healed . . .

He who had done no wrong
became all that was wrong in me
so that I could become right.
He stooped to lift me from the dirt
and treat me with dignity,
seating me among princes.

I am His joy, His gift, His reward.
He is my joy, my gift, my treasure.

Never a day, never an hour,
never a moment exists
that I am not in His thoughts,
His prayers,
for He lives to make intercession for me -
not just me, but for ALL.

Of this I am sure:
He will never misuse or abuse me,
waste or exploit me,
neglect or forget me.
Never!

What say I to such love?
Thank you seems tritefully insufficient.
Would my heart be enough?
His for mine,
mine for Him.

Crossroads

2005-11-09T16:55:00.000-06:00

Silent no more,
forgiven and forgiving,
I choose to see the divine in you.

Releasing the disappointment,
the anger, and the fear,
I abandon my assumed rights and extend my hand
to bless all that is good in you,
hoping that you will do the same for me.

There is only one who truly understands,
and He is silent still.

Who is right?
Who is wrong?
Only time will tell.

In the meantime,
I must love and be silent no more.

2005-11-09T16:50:00.000-06:00

I seem to have lost my courage,
misplaced my hope,
tiptoed into the realm of unbelief.

In this place,
there is no rest,
for rest rests on belief.

In this barren place,
there is no purpose, no intercession.
No intercession, no blessing.

Oh, that the magnificence of your promises,
your power, and your loving purposes
would overwhelm me anew.

Oh, that I would learn faithfulness,
self-sacrifice, and obedience
and pray down Heaven on earth.

2005-11-09T16:42:00.000-06:00

seeds --
all shapes and sizes,
various textures and hues

some - fragile, delicate
others - strong, invincible
all - storehouses of new life

First they must be scattered by wind or man
until a home, a resting place, is found.
Then comes the sun,
the dew, the rain
coaxing tender roots to unfurl
and gently force their way through even the hardest soil.

Lilies don't struggle to become lilies.
All they are destined to be
lies resting in the seed,
patient and still,
waiting.
So it is with the soul.

Fragrance

2005-11-04T14:25:00.000-06:00

Mary,
oh, what an example of extravagant love --
exquisite jar, expensive perfume
broken, emptied over the feet of Love himself.
"And the house was filled with fragrance."

Could have been sold,
given to the poor,
but somehow she knew what His closest did not.
Kneeling, she seized the opportunity of a lifetime.
"And the house was filled with fragrance."

Private moment in a public place,
tears mingled with oil,
hair in humble hands washing holy feet,
world fades away as private drama unfolds.
"And the house was filled with fragrance."

Two kinds of lovers in this old world --
those who hold back nothing, give their all,
and those too afraid, too self-conscious to give at all.
May we choose to be like Mary.
"And the house was filled with fragrance."

2005-11-04T14:20:00.000-06:00

Tripped this morning
over God knows what,
probably some sort of selfishness or complaining,
ingratitude or doubt

God, what rubble
is in all of our lives.
Why is it so hard
to be truly satisfied?

Tired of going around in circles,
stumbling over the same old rocks,
trapped in the same routine,
listening to the same old thoughts

God, break these cycles.
Cleanse me of my sins.
Please don't let me keep journeying around this mountain
again and again and again.

2005-11-03T16:57:00.000-06:00

This life's nothing more than our soul's night.
All that is, good or bad, seems but a dream.
His presence, but a shadow of reality.
Nights eventually give way to day.
Dreams become awakenings.
Where there is shadow, there is light.
Always something bigger than reality,
not a something, but a someone, some place,
where all the shadows become true.

One day, He will come,
not in shadows, but in a blaze of reality and light.
Then, my sleepy soul will awaken
from its slumbering stroll through this life,
and I will finally see and understand
and truly know as I am known.
No more mirrors or shadows.
No more somnambulent ramblings.
Just eternity.

2005-11-03T16:46:00.000-06:00

Sunny or stormy,
today is brand new,
and I have not walked this way before.

Today, I may meet joys I've never imagined,
riches waiting to be discovered,
surprises meant to delight me,
people I'll find interesting.

There may be some new task to do,
some new lesson to learn,
some new truth.

Today's storehouse could hold new temptations
or old ones dressed in disguise
along with the challenges they provide.

There could be difficulties waiting around the corner,
trials moving in next door,
even monsters under the bed or stashed in the closet.

Yes, today is brand new,
and I have not walked this way before,
but God loves ME.

He who loves me
meets me at the gate of each new day
and promises to go with me.

That means all the world to me.

2005-11-02T12:35:00.000-06:00

Feeling small,
insignificant --
I remember youth,
the dreams of fame,
of changing the world,
of being somebody.

Age has its way of enlightenment.

There are no more dreams of fame,
no more ideals,
no more romantic fantasies,
no more youthful exuberance.

All that's left is reality,
mortality,
and a smile --
smiles for those who still dream youthful dreams,
smiles for those who don't.

Some are chosen to illuminate the world,
but a multitude stands hidden,
destined to shine only in heaven.